My Little Secret.

Source

Radio 4.

I tune in to the Today programme as I get dressed for work, get in to bed at night listening to the 'Book At Bedtime', the ever relaxing 'Sailing By' and then fall asleep listening to the Shipping Forecast.

There. I've said it.

And today I am in mourning for what is to come. I knew the day would eventually arrive - the day when the station is told to get young black northerners listening in.

Now, there's nothing wrong with inviting the young and the ethnic (oooh, me! Hello). I'm just worried they'll do something stupid like replace the pips with a 'beat' or something reprehensible like ditch the anthem because it is 'jingoistic'. My. Back. Side. I’m not overly patriotic but I don’t like change. Not when it comes to my beloved Radio 4.

My soul is still aching from when they stopped playing the UK Theme and that was all the way back in 2006. Actually, I'm being perfectly serious.

Now, to my problem... While I do want the station to remain as it is - that is the English uncle I never had - I need it to reach new listeners. Because, to put it bluntly, most of their current listeners will be dead in a few years they're that old and where will that leave me?

So it is with a heavy heart I guess that I concede that I SUPPOSE Radio 4 must do what they must; pimp themselves out. Get themselves a wonderbra-esque lift of some sort. Perhaps they can get Tinie Tempah to do a few jingles or install Cheryl Cole as a new announcer... Oh I don't know. I won't pretend to understand the yoof these days - I listen to Radio 4.