Sunday, 20 February 2011

10 Reasons Why Twilight Annoys the Hell Out of Me

I used to be a crazy obsessed Twilight fan. Fair enough, not as mad as those who tattoo themselves with Pattinson's face, sleep between Twilight bed sheets and actually believe that sparkly vampires exist. And they're just the mums.

So why have I gone from Cullen obsessed fan girl to someone who'd rather lose both her legs than read one of those books again?

1. I. GREW. UP.

2. Edward Cullen is so annoyingly boring and obsessive. Initially, I thought he was unbelievably romantic, thoughtful and devoted... Now I think if I was Bella, I'd sit Edward down and introduce him to something called "boundaries"! No climbing in through my window at night to watch me sleep, no breaking MY car, no telling me who I can and can't see, no force feeding and no asking me stupid questions!

3. Bella is so irritating. Why does she put up with all the above? She's not likable in the least, a bit of a perv and seems to have no ambition other than to give up her soul just so she can feel as pretty as her glittery vampire boyfriend.

4. Edward left Bella in New Moon. She's left heartbroken, hurting and a bit mentally unwell but she goes to save Edward's non-life towards the end of the book. I'm fine with that. What I'm NOT ok with is when she TAKES HIM BACK no questions asked. Dude, he left you? I don't care if it drove him to near suicide HE LEFT YOU then had the CHEEK to get all jealous when you decide you actually kinda like Jacob.

5. Bella needs to grow a pair. See above. What would have been great is if Bella got with Jacob as Edward watched on, pining from the side lines.

6. Bella is self obsessed and patronising. She thinks everyone at school is beneath her and OH she is prepared to give up her PARENTS for a walking talking corpse she has barely known for a few months.

7. Is Edward hungry for ALL her blood? Like, is he banned from her house at certain times of the month? Gross. I bet it makes his mouth water. He's a vampire, so I don't think he cares which orifice it comes out of. EW.

8. The fight that never was in Breaking Dawn. That was the biggest, most disappointing anti-climax I have ever had the misfortune to read.

9. It’s not the best piece of literature I have read. Sorry, but there really should have been someone to proof read the thing at least.

10. Some people claim that author Stephenie Meyer based the character Bella on herself. I don't know if this is true or not but it’s in my head and I can't help it. It’s quite disconcerting to think that she thanks her husband and kids in the book, and then hurries off to her room to write more about a sexually frustrated vampire who falls in love with a character who looks remarkably like herself...



  1. LOL, bella needs to grow a pair...haha rohima your too funny! fab post :)

  2. LOL@#5!
    I was never really obsessed about all this, its just so...weird.

  3. aaaaaahaha! I actually quite liked the first film, the other two were a bit on the meh side but watchable. Never read the books, couldn't/can't be arsed :/ But I really don't understand why this twilight malarki is soooo overhyped! It's so sad to see these stupid girls that from the bottom of their hearts honestly believe that sparkly little vampire boy will fall in love with them lol Can you imagine what it'll be like when there's no more films in the saga? I honestly think there'll be suicides :/ *tuttut* lubz yooh!! xxxxxxxx

  4. Thanks Asianweddingideas lol

    Smiley, by the sounds of it you're one of the lucky few!

    Carmen it doesn't bear thinking about! The MALARKI (ahahahah) is definately over hyped! It plays on teen hormones although saying that post-menapausal women were/are still dying over this corpse of a heart throb. its so WRONG and not a good read AT ALL! When there's no more films to shoot they'll probably come up with another money grabbing idea, do a spin off or something involving Renesmee (the kid). HMPH. lol xxxx

  5. Lol too funny. The other day I considered re-reading one of the twilight books but then thought twice. The only way I'd read one of them again is if I wanted to kill myself lol.